


Consequences

by TimeforAstory



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-05-09 14:34:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14717931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimeforAstory/pseuds/TimeforAstory
Summary: My take on what could happen in season 7. Note* I still love Oliver and Olicity, but I am so upset with the finale and that the writers had Oliver lie to Felicity and withhold info again! I need to see some resolution to this and not just gloss over it.  I mean, he apologized to everyone else who didn't deserve an apology!Also this is unbeta'd and I apologize in advance for any grammar or spelling errors.





	1. Chapter 1

              Oliver tried to rein in his anticipation as he waited for the elevator to reach the penthouse apartment. He couldn’t wait to see his family. He didn’t understand what had happened exactly.  He sent a glance to where to John stood at his side. John claimed to know as little as he did about how he had come to be pardoned by the president himself. He had explained that Felicity had called him that morning requesting that he head to the prison to pick up Oliver.  She offered little in the way of explanation, stating to bring him to the loft to meet William and everything would be explained then.  It had made Oliver nervous to know that she had only mentioned meeting William, not herself.             

            "You’re sure she didn’t mention if she was going to be here?” Oliver couldn’t help asking again.

            “Oliver, I already told you.  She didn’t tell me anything more.  She hasn’t told me anything in a long time now.” John noticed the confusion showing on Oliver’s face and continued, “She withdrew from everyone after she was sent to the safe house. She answered my calls at first, but she wasn’t herself.  Then she just stopped responding.”

            “And you didn’t follow up?” Oliver queried, tension rising inside him.

            “Of course, I did. That woman is like a sister to me. But she’s smart, Oliver.  Smarter than both of us.  Somehow, she always seemed to know when I was coming and she was conveniently never at home.  I even tried sending Lyla. Same results. I was able to talk to William a couple times. He seemed happy, as happy as he could be.  He said that he and Felicity were getting along well. That’s all I know.”

            “He sent me letters to the prison every week.  I haven’t heard from her.  It’s been two months, John. I know she’s mad, but…” He was cut off by the ding of the elevator signaling their arrival.

            The doors opened and he stepped out into the hall, barely restraining himself from running the few remaining steps to the door. He was only two steps from the door when it was flung open and William barreled into him.  Oliver wrapped his arms around his son, hugging him tight, not even feeling the numerous bruising, contusions and broken ribs that William was pressing against.  He could feel William’s body shaking against his own as the boy cried. Looking up toward the doorway, he saw Raisa standing there, tears in her eyes as she took in the sight. Looking past her, he was disappointed that he didn’t see the familiar blonde hair he dreamt about nightly.

            “Let’s take this reunion inside how about.” John herded them toward the door.  Oliver couldn’t help but move awkwardly with William seemingly unwilling to relinquish his hold on him.

            “Mister Oliver, welcome home.” Raisa moved to kiss his cheek and he wrapped his free arm around her for a quick hug.

            “Where’s Felicity?” He heard the tremor in his voice and didn’t care.  He needed to know.

            “She’s not here. She left a week ago.  Raisa has been staying with me until you got here.” William relayed, the joy on his face at seeing his Dad diminishing with this information.

            “Where did she go?” Oliver could barely get the question out.  She had left him. He couldn’t blame her.  They had had this same fight so many times, him making decisions without talking to her about them, keeping things from her.  The last time with William had broken them up.  It had taken a long time for her to work past that and he had promised to do better.  Instead, he had done it again.  He stood by his decision.  He would do whatever was necessary to protect her and William, but he had kept it all from her until the very last moment. 

            “We were so scared for you, Dad.  You kept getting attacked in the prison, this last one was so bad. I thought they were gonna kill you next time.” The boy again threw himself against Oliver, burying his head against his chest.  Oliver smoothed his hand over his son’s head.

            “Hey, hey, I’m not hurt that bad. I’m here now. I’m safe. But I need to know where Felicity is?” Anxiety bubbled up from his stomach, threatening to make him lose the small amount of breakfast he had managed to get down in the prison infirmary that morning.

            “We knew we had to get you out of there.  So, Felicity started researching and she came up with a plan.  We talked about it a lot.  Then she went to see Agent Watson.”

            “William.  Where. Is. Felicity?” He couldn’t stop the deeper, down to business tone in his voice. He prayed the answer wasn’t what he was thinking.

            “They were gonna kill you if you stayed in there any longer!” William cried.

            “Let’s take this down a notch and figure out what is going on right now.” John injected, ever the voice of reason.

            “No, John, no! Felicity was supposed to be safe.  That was the point of all of this. She can’t…” The shrill ringing of the phone interrupted him.

            “It’s 11 am, it’s her!” William called out as he ran for the phone, skidding to a stop in front of it. 

            “Felicity?” the hope rang in his voice. He nodded his head, breaking into a smile as the voice on the other end responded. “Yeah, it worked.  He’s here.  He just got here with John.” He paused as he listened. “I haven’t gotten through all of that yet. They just got here.  He seems kinda mad.” The last line was delivered lowly as William turned his back to them.

            He was done. Oliver strode over to his son, plucking the phone from his hand.

            “Felicity. What’s going on? Where are you?” He wanted so badly for her to tell him she was on her way to the apartment right now.  For a second, he felt it so strongly he thought he may actually be able to wish it into existence.

            “I did what I had to do, Oliver.  You wanted me to take care of William.  I couldn’t do that by letting his father sit in prison, getting beaten by inmates regularly, each one worse than the last.  How was I supposed to tell him that his father had been killed?” She didn’t sound mad or upset.  She just sounded tired.  She sounded like she had lost her will to fight.  The Felicity he had known, that he had fallen in love with, was a fighter.  Now she sounded defeated.  His heart sank when he realized he had done that to her. “I started researching for threats that I thought would be bigger target for the government than you.  I found out about a cyber terrorist group operating inside the United States.  Their goal is to cause conflict with other nations, especially ones with diplomatic ties to us.  They want to isolate the U.S and then start a global war.  They have been hacking foreign government agencies, banks and power grids.  The attempts have been escalating and the US hasn’t been able to stop them.”

            “What have you done, Felicity?” Oliver knew the desperation was clear in his plea.  He placed the phone on speaker as John stepped closer.

            “I infiltrated the most local group I could find.  It was a few towns over.  I had to leave William with Raisa sooner than I had expected.  I made a deal with Agent Watson.  If I could deliver the local group and then agreed to help bring down the rest of the organization, they would give you a full pardon.  I had until yesterday to fulfill my end of the bargain and they had until today to keep up their end.  I called to make sure they did. And to check on William.”

            “Felicity, please. Please don’t do this. I can go back. I don’t want you in danger. All I ever wanted was for you to be safe.” He knew he was begging.  It didn’t matter.  He couldn’t let her do this.

            “The other part of the agreement is the FBI will release a statement claiming that your confession to being the Green Arrow was all part of a ploy to draw out Diaz and now that he is caught, the truth can be told. You’ll be free to go back to whatever you want to do now.  You can run for Mayor again.  You should be able to prove that you were unfairly impeached by people on Diaz’s payroll,” Felicity continued as if he hadn’t just been begging her to undo this all. “I don’t know how long it will take to bring these guys down.  I’m in until it’s over.  I did make them agree that once a week, on Fridays at 11am, I can call on a secured line for 10 minutes to talk to William.”

            “Felicity, how could you agree to this?  There had to be another way.” Anger and worried warred in his voice.

            “Maybe there would have been Oliver,” for the first time he heard a spark of emotion in her voice, “But I had to make my decisions based on the consequences of the decisions you already made. This was the only way I could see to stop William from losing his father.  He already lost his Mother. I couldn’t sit back and watch that happen.  I did what was best for him.”

            “And what about me? How am I suppose to live knowing that you sold your soul for me? For my freedom?” He leaned forward toward the table holding the phone.  His palms flat on the table top, arms supporting his weight.  He felt John’s hand come down on his shoulder in support.

            “What about me, Oliver?  I was supposed to live with knowing that you were getting beaten and very probably going to be killed to protect me.  I was supposed to live with the fact that William’s father was going to die in part to protect me? This isn’t about you Oliver.  It’s about me.  It’s about me taking back control of my life and doing what I think needs to be done.”

            “We could have figured something out, together.”

            “No Oliver. You made this decision on your own. Just like you did when you decided to go fight Ra’s Al Ghoul, or when you decided to fly in the plane with him in a suicide mission. Just like when you decided to team up with Malcolm Merlyn. Or when you decided to keep William a secret from me. Or just like when you decided to kick me off the team and go it alone.  You make the decisions and I’m left, alone, to deal with the ramifications.  And normally, I can’t do a damn thing to make anything better.  I couldn’t bring you back when I thought you were dead.  I couldn’t talk you out of teaming up with Merlyn.  I couldn’t help when you kicked me off the team.  But I could fix this for William.”

            “What about William?” he broke in, “How’s he going to feel when he finds out you’re not coming back?”

            “I’ll be back.  That’s the plan anyway.” She said it so nonchalantly it made him sick to think she though so little of her life, “But he knows it all.  William and I discussed the whole plan before I did anything.  We agreed that you were in much more immediate danger than I would be.”    

            Oliver stared at the phone, unable to comprehend what she was telling him. She seemed to have covered every angle.

            “Oliver, I do need you to do something for me.  While I’m gone, I need you to decide if you want this marriage or not because if you don’t...”

            “Why would you say that? Of course, I want to be married to you.” Tears formed in his eyes and he swiped at them angrily.

            “You don’t seem like it lately.  You pulled away from me, Oliver.  Ever since everything started going downhill with the team.  You barely talked to me, barley touched me, kissed me.  You basically said a farewell to everyone on the team except me.  You left me be blindsided by the arrest.  Even then, you didn’t look at me. Not once. I felt abandoned by you, again and I think I had every right to feel that way.” Again, her voice showed no emotion as she spoke.  Exhaustion colored her words, but nothing more.

            “I couldn’t look at you, Felicity.  I could barely keep it together as it was.  And how could I possibly say good bye to you.  You are my everything.” Tears were dripping steadily from his eyes now. 

            “I love you Oliver.  I always have.  I probably always will.  But I don’t know how many more times I can lose you and survive it.” Her voice broke and she was quiet for a second.

            “Felicity please…” it was a whispered plea.

            “Sometimes I think maybe you just love the idea of me or something.  Because it seems like every time the option to sacrifice yourself or leave me comes along, that’s what you go for first.  Believe it or not, Oliver, this was plan M.  I had a whole host of ideas that would have involved all three of us being together, but none of them panned out.  My first instinct is to try to keep us together.  Yours always seems to be to leave me.”

            He had no answer that he could think of that sounded good enough.  He did love her, more than anything.  But the points she made were valid.  Or at least, he could seem how she would come to those conclusions.

            “Anyway, my time is up, I have to go. Please think hard about what I said Oliver.  And don’t be mad at William.  This was ultimately my decision. Next time I call, I expect to talk to William for my ten minutes.  I already miss him. Bye Oliver.”

            “No! Felicity don’t hang up!” But the line was already dead.  “Damn it!” His anger told hold and the table holding the phone fell onto its side as he heaved it up from the floor.

            “John, what do I do?” he looked up at his friend as he sank to his knees.

            “I don’t know, man. But we’ll figure something out.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again, un-beta'd. Sorry for any grammar or spelling. I tried to proof read it.

            Oliver stared out the window at the city laid out before him as he finished drying the breakfast dishes, the gray sky was a perfect accompaniment to his mood this morning.  He was glad to be back home with William, but he couldn’t stop the almost constant worry over Felicity.  It had been almost two months since he had been freed. After the phone call from Felicity on that first day, he and Diggle had thrown themselves into trying to track her.  Unsurprisingly, she had covered her track as only she could.  John had even attempted going to Lyla and using Argus resources.  Lyla had been able to relay some information about the cyber terrorist group that she was up against, but even she had hit a wall when she tried to gather further intel.

            Felicity had called every Friday at 11am like clockwork.  Mostly she talked to William for her allotted 10 minutes.  She had on a few occasions talked to him, but their conversations had been awkward and stilted.  He had wanted information that she refused to give. They had ended each of their few conversations with I love you’s at least.

            He had gotten conflicting stories regarding Felicity after he had went to prison.  The story William told painted a picture of the Felicity he knew. She had taken charge, attempting to turn their safe house into a home for herself and William, instituting movie nights and breakfast for dinner days.  She had signed him up for the local little league camp, telling him that he couldn’t just sit around being mopey, that they had to carry on living because that was what Oliver would want for them. His stories including her ever present babbling and laughter.  He told Oliver that of course she had worried like he had every time they got a report of Oliver being beaten.  She had stayed up for almost three nights in a row as she worked on a solution to getting him out of prison.  He explained how Felicity had sat him down at the kitchen table and explained out their options and which one would be most likely to work. She had also explained that Raisa, who had moved into a safe house nearby to help them, would have to come stay with him fulltime once the plan went into effect until his Dad came home. William told the story of the Felicity that was so familiar to him.

            Raisa told a different version of the what she saw.  She had been gracious enough to go into protective custody as well to continue helping Felicity and William.  She went over daily to their house to help cook and care for William. She agreed with William’s assessment of Felicity, at least while William was there.  When he left for little league games, or late at night when he was in bed, Raisa saw a different Felicity.  This one sat at the small kitchen table with her head in her hands, tears dripping onto the laminate surface, shoulders shaking but otherwise silent in her sobbing.  Raisa told of the nights when she had stayed over for one reason or another, how she had seen a ghost of a woman wandering the small house, silently sitting on the sofa staring into the darkness for hours.  She would show up at the table in the morning for breakfast, smiling and ready to face the day.  Dark circles under her eyes barely visible through concealer but hidden enough to fool a young boy. She told Oliver that she had known something was going on the week before she had gotten the call to come stay with William.  She said that although Felicity had looked more tired and drawn that usual, there was also a spark of life to her that Raisa hadn’t seen since his arrest. Felicity had hugged William almost constantly those last days. Raisa relayed how she seemed unable to pass the boy with a hug as she went. When Raisa told him, it was like she was stocking up in case as if she was going away Oliver couldn’t stop the chill that raced down his spine.

            Nights were especially hard.  He couldn’t sleep in their room.  He had commandeered one of the guest rooms as his own.  After that first disastrous night when he had woken from a nightmare and reached over to find her side of the bed empty he had given up on that room, on that bed. He didn’t want to be in there without her. He missed his wife.  He missed his best friend.  Two months of worry, of not knowing where she was or if she was safe.  His only solace was the weekly phone calls. Even if he didn’t talk to her that week, at least he knew she was okay. Tomorrow was Friday again and he looked forward to the phone ringing, signaling her safety. William was fanatical about making sure he was available.  Every Friday by half past 10, he was sitting by the phone. Of course, Oliver was the same way.  He would never miss the weekly phone call. It had become a life line to him. He glanced up at the clock, only a little over 24 hours now. 

 

* * *

      

            Felicity sat down on her cot, kicking off her shoes and slumping forward to place her forearms on her knees.  She sat there for a few minutes unable to think or feel anything beyond how tired she was.  She had been up for almost 96 hours, with only small naps, an hour here, a half hour there, to sustain her.  They had infiltrated a large faction of the terrorist cell.  This one had information on the headquarters and leaders, as well as blueprints for future plans.  However, as they got closer to the nucleus of the operation it also got exponentially harder to hack from the outside.  The last couple attacks had to be taken from inside so that she could access the mainframe.  She had been grazed with a bullet on the last job.  She had frozen for a second as she felt the familiar sting across her shoulder, flashing back to the bullets that had paralyzed her.  Somehow Oliver and William’s faces flashed in her mind and she had snapped back to the present and was able to finish the job.  The government was pleased with her work. So pleased in fact, that they had offered her a permanent position.  She hadn’t hesitated in turning them down.  She wanted to go home.  She missed William.  She missed Oliver.  Even with all their problems and as mad she was at him, she still loved him.  She knew it.  He knew it.  But it was hard to work through anything on the phone in 10-minute intervals.

            She heaved a sigh into the empty room and stretched her aching back. Her shoulder burned where the bullet had grazed her. Her stomach rolled again as it had been doing.  She was having trouble eating, constant worry and fear were not exactly encouraging for the appetite.  Add in irregular sleep patterns and almost constant travel across numerous time zones and her body didn’t know which way was up. Her summer traveling with Oliver paled in comparison to the number of places she had been since she had started this.  For being a US cyber terrorist group, they sure traveled a lot.  One day she had literally changed days by passing the international date line three times in the course of 24 hours.

            She glanced at her watch and sighed again.  She was going to miss tomorrow’s call home.  She had just gotten back from her last assignment and they had informed her that they were moving on the intel they had gotten as quickly as possible.  She had 12 hours to sleep and rest.  She was exhausted and scared.  Underneath that was the buzz of excitement.  If they were successful tomorrow, if she came out of it alive, it would be over.  She could go home.  She looked down at the cot behind her, at the small almost flat pillow that looked like heaven at this moment.  Shaking her head, she knew she had one more thing to do before she went to sleep.

* * *

 

            “Raisa, can you get the phone?” Oliver called as he fished the last bowl from the rinse water.  The phone continued to ring as he got no response from Raisa.  “She went upstairs to get the laundry,” he reminded himself as he dried his hands, flinging the dish towel over his shoulder as he reached for the phone. 

            “Hello,” he spoke into the receiver distractedly while he checked the schedule for William’s little league game.  He enrolled him here in Star City wanting to continue what Felicity had started.

            “Oliver…” He was so surprised to hear her voice that he actually fumbled with phone as it slipped from his shoulder.  The man with the reflexes who once caught a champagne bottle she had dropped as she tripped, couldn’t catch the phone as it slipped.  He grabbed it from the floor where it had landed, praying the connection had held.

            “Felicity? Are you there?”  
             “I’m here, Oliver.” She sounded exhausted. “How are you?”

            “I’m fine. Good.  William is too. He’s at little league right now.  I didn’t expect you to call today or I would have…”

            “It’s ok,” she interrupted him. “I called to talk to you.”

            “Oh.” It was a simple response, but for the life of him it was all he could think of to say at the moment.

            “I just wanted to talk to you.  I know things have been…difficult between us.  It’s hard to really talk things out with only 10 minutes a week.  Well, that and I’ve still been pretty mad at you.” She actually chuckled a little at the last admission and he felt himself smiling.  “But I wanted to tell you that I’ve been trying to see things from your side, trying to understand why you did what you did.”

            “I’ve been thinking a lot about it too, Felicity.  Everything you said struck home with me.  I was so concerned with protecting you and William, but I didn’t stop to think about what my decision would do to you either.  I can’t say I wouldn’t have made the same choice, but I should have talked it through with you.  Blindsiding you the way I did, letting it happen the way I did, it was wrong.” He had to be honest with her.  At night in bed when he couldn’t sleep, he would imagine what he would say to her if he had the chance.  This was it and he wasn’t going to lie.  He couldn’t say he wouldn’t do it again, but he could admit he was wrong in the execution.

            “I know you’ve been thinking about what I said OIiver and I really feel like you heard me this time.  But I want to make sure you know that I wasn’t mad at you for trying to protect us, I wasn’t even that mad about the decision you made.  I was upset that you left me out again.  That you didn’t let me help…try to find another way.  Maybe we wouldn’t have found one, maybe the outcome would have been the same.  But if I had to live with losing you again, at least I would have known that we tried everything else first.” He could hear her voice breaking. She was quiet for a moment and he heard the slight sniffle on the other end of the line. “I just wanted to let you know that you are a good man Oliver.  You’re a hero, whether you always believe that or not.”

            “Felicity, being able to discuss this with you, hearing the things you’re saying…this is everything I’ve been wanting to hear for almost two months now. But why do I,” he took a deep breath, trying to calm his suddenly racing heart beat, “Why do I feel like you’re trying to say goodbye to me?”

            “I’m not saying goodbye.  I just wanted to make sure you know that despite everything, I really do love you.  You said that I am your everything.  Well, you’re mine.  With everything we’ve been through, everything you’ve put me through,” he could hear the laughter and teasing in her voice with the last part, “If I had to do it again, I would.  I wouldn’t miss a moment of it. I am who I am because I’ve loved you.” 

            His eyes welled up as he could hear the tears in her voice as she basically parroted his vows back to him.  That sunny day by the lake when they had gotten married in the spur of the moment flashed in his mind and his lips turned up in a tremulous smile.

            “Felicity, please,” he begged her, knuckles going white where he gripped the phone, “please call back tomorrow and talk to William. Please.”

            “I can’t Oliver. I’m almost finished with this and then I can home for good.” She tried to stay upbeat but he heard the unmistakable fear in her voice.

            “Tell me where you are.  Let me help.  I can bring John and the rest of the team, we can all help end this. Just tell me…” he was desperate and he knew it.  But he couldn’t do this, he couldn’t say goodbye to her over the phone.  The thought that this might be the last time he would ever get to talk to her…no, just no. “Don’t do this. Please.”

            “I have to Oliver.  This is almost over.  And I couldn’t walk away from this now anyway.  I know too much about this group.  I can’t let them go on hurting people if I can help stop them.”  He tried to interrupt her again, but she quickly shushed him. “I have to go now.  I wasn’t even supposed to make this phone call.  But I just couldn’t, I couldn’t…” She broke down as her voice tapered off.  He felt his own tears falling.  He wanted to keep arguing with her, beg her, demand that she tell him where she was.  But he also knew that would be useless.  So instead, he took a couple deep measured breaths and said the only thing he could think of to say.

            “Felicity, listen to me.  I want you to know that I love you.  More than anything in this world.  You are my light and my life.  I need you to go into whatever happens next knowing that.  I want to use that to fight, you fight every minute that you can until it’s done and then you come back to me. To us. To this life that we’ve built and to the future that we want to build. I love you.” The crying on the other end of the line had stopped and silence reined for a moment. “Do you understand?”

            “Yes,” her voice was small, but stronger now. “I love you too, Oliver.”

            The line went dead and he sat down heavily at the table, feeling as though he could no longer support his own weight.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Un-beta'd. Sorry for any mistakes.  
> Also, you're going to need a willing suspension of disbelief for the tech part! LOL.

Felicity followed the operatives through the tunnels, stopping when they told her to, dropping flat to the floor when ordered to avoid the ricocheting bullets. They had tracked down the headquarters to an abandoned mine system in the mid-west.  This specific mine hadn’t been used in over 30 years and it consisted of miles and miles of tunnels beneath the earth. Using blueprints and infrared technology, as well as some adapted t-spheres she had built, they had been able to map out the system of tunnels to find the server room.  They had put their plan into effect today.  Intel that had been provided said that the mine would be operating on a lower level of security that day. It had been wrong. They had only made it through half of the miles they had to go before running into hostiles.  The men and women surrounding her did their best to protect themselves and her, but their bullet proof vests had taken some hits.  Felicity had felt the impact on her side.  She wasn’t sure if it was the impact from the bullet or the rough stone floor of the mine as she hit it that knocked the wind out of her.  But as she lay on the hard ground, she heard Oliver’s voice in her head urging her to fight.  Pushing herself up on her elbows, she scrambled toward her equipment. She was going to end this. Today. When the operatives motioned it was safe to continue, Felicity rose to her feet and followed.

Felicity rounded the corner, mouth falling open as she took in the sight before her. Server towers twice as tall as she was lined up in four rows filled the cavernous space.  The simplest part of this complex mission just became infinitely more complicated.  She couldn’t even imagine the amount of data they had stored to need this many servers. She didn’t have the time it would take to download and check everything.  Nor did she have anyone to point her in the right direction. Gunfire erupted in the tunnel behind her propelling her forward further into the cavern. The majority of the agents stayed behind in the tunnel to hold off the terrorists.  Two came into the room with her to secure the area.  Felicity paid them little attention as she swung her backpack to the ground, immediately setting out her tablet and the digital sniffer she had brought with her.  There was no way one sniffer was going to be able to do all four servers.  It would take too long.

“Well, frack,” she muttered as she looked up at the towers again.  If she just knew which one contained the information they needed.  If she guessed and she was wrong, then this was all for nothing.  The solution came to her quickly.  She set the sniffer to work on the first tower.  She yelled for the agents with her, requesting their cell phones, knowing they had powerful satellite phones. Without question they tossed their phones to her and went back to guarding the doors.  As quickly and efficiently as she could, she hooked their phones one by one to her tablet, wiping the phones and memory cards clean.  Using her tablet, she was able to access the plans for the original digital sniffer and installed the program on the phones, essentially turning them into temporary sniffers. Felicity quickly hooked them up to the next two towers. 

 _Three down, one to go,_ she thought as she dug for her own phone.  Pulling it out she almost screamed in frustration.  The bullet she had taken to the vest had damaged her phone.  She couldn’t even get it to turn on and she sure as hell didn’t have time to fix it.  Felicity turned to her tablet. Her only remaining piece of tech.  She didn’t have a choice.  She quickly wiped as much memory as she dared before downloading the sniffer software and restarting the tablet.  She moved to the last tower and set it to work.  Gunfire sounded again in the hallway, more frequently this time and closer.  The two agents moved closer to the entrance, guns held at the ready. 

“How much longer for the download?” the voice through the comm in her ear startled her and she wasn’t proud of the way she gasped.  Felicity swore she saw one of the agents fighting a smile.

“Couple more minutes,” she responded, “First one is done.  Three more to go.”

“Copy that.  Let us know the minute it’s done.  It’s getting hot out here.” More gunfire followed his transmission.

“Will do. Uh, I mean, copy.” She cringed as she finished talking.  She would never be James Bond spy cool.  She had accepted that long ago.

She collected the first cell phone when it beeped signaling it was done, adding it to the sniffer already in her bag. The second cell phone beeped and she scooped it up. 

“Come on, come on…” She willed the tablet to finish.

“A watched pot never boils.” She heard the agent who had been hiding the smile remark from behind her.  She rolled her eyes.  Life and death situations and she got stuck with the comedian. 

Finally, the tablet was done.  She snatched it up and turned toward the entrance of the room.

“It’s done. I have everything.” She spoke into the comms.

“Wait for our signal and then move out.” The voice on the other end replied.  The two agents with her replied in the affirmative and she readied herself to move when instructed.  She couldn’t help but turn to look at the servers when she noticed the change in cadence to the beeps and hums of the machine.  Several lights where now flashing that hadn’t been before, the humming increasing slowly but steadily. Felicity pulled her tablet back out and attempted to hack into the servers again.  It was a slow process with so much information now stored on the tablet itself.

“No! No, no, no, NO!” She started out lowly but was yelling at the end.  The two agents turned to look at her.  She hit the comm button, speaking as loudly and clearly as she could as she ran toward the agents and starting pushing them toward the entrance and the sound of gunfire. 

“Self-destruct!  The system has a self-destruct and someone activated it!  I can’t stop it! My tablet is overloaded with info from the servers!  We have about two minutes! Run! Run!” 

The agents with her whirled away from her, rushing ahead to help clear the way.  They ran for all they worth.  The gunfire ceased as apparently the bad guys were also aware of what was going on and had abandoned the mission themselves.  They were almost to the entrance of the mine, Felicity could see the slit of light coming from the opening when the explosions started.  The ground underneath her feet shook, dirt and debris starting to rain down from above, but she still she kept running.

 _Please, please, I just want to get home._ The thought of Oliver and William was a on a constant loop in her mind as she ran, interspersed with pictures of her mother and John. The tunnel was starting to fill with dust, blocking out the light.  Still she ran, towards where she had last seen the light. She stumbled and almost went down.  Somehow the agent, the comedian, was there and grabbed her hand, pulling her along with him.  Her lungs were screaming at her for oxygen, the dust filled air making her wheeze and cough.  Felicity stumbled again, her vision growing hazy and her breathing more labored.  The agent let go of her hand and she wanted to cry to lose that connection, but instead he wrapped his hand tightly around her wrist and hauled her forward dragging her over the rough packed dirt.  Oh, how she hoped they both made it.  Her hope dwindled though as it got darker and darker. She couldn’t get a breath, she couldn’t stop coughing.  It was becoming harder to keep herself upright.

_I’m so sorry William.  I told you I would be okay.  And Oliver, oh Oliver.  How are you gonna live with this?  I love you so much._

* * *

 

Oliver paced back and forth in the Argus control room.  He knew he was making them nervous.  Every couple minutes the agents would glance up at him from their computers.  He had been here for almost a week.  Immediately after he had gotten the phone call from Felicity, he had called Raisa and asked her to stay with William.  He had left a note for his son explaining that he was going to try to find and help Felicity.  His next stop had been to the bunker where he had picked up all his gear.  He hadn’t suited up since getting out of prison. A quick call to John had seen the two men meeting up and heading to Argus.  Oliver had quickly filled Lyla in on what had happened and she had quickly devoted a handful of employees to do nothing but search for information on Felicity.  As far as Oliver was aware, they had facial recognition programs running as well as the usual surveillance of her name, passport, license and social security number.  They were also doing a number of searches that he didn’t exactly understand.  One person had attempted to explain it to him, but he had quickly told them he would appreciate it more if they spent their time searching instead of talking to him.  Lyla was also reaching out to every member of every government agency she had any favors with.  It had been a week, they had nothing.  Whatever operation this was, it was so far off the books even the head of Argus was being stonewalled. 

 He had reached out himself to everyone he could think of.  He had contacted Anatoly hoping that maybe someone in the underground Bratva organization would have heard something.  He had contacted Slade, asking the former ASIS agent if he had any strings he could pull. Every stone he turned over yielded nothing.

Oliver was dreading another phone call to William. He called him every night to check in. And every night the hope in his son’s voice as he asked about Felicity died a little.  Coupled with the growing tension that had taken up permanent residence in Oliver’s own stomach, he could barely stand to call him. He was so lost in his own thoughts, he didn’t even hear John coming up behind him until he spoke.

“Anything new?”

Oliver didn’t answer, but simply shook his head.

“She’s going to be fine, Oliver.  She’s a fighter.  Look at everything she’s been through already.” John said, offering encouragement.  “You should really try to sleep.  At this point, if we do get a hit you’re gonna be a liability in the field.”

“I can’t sleep, John.  I just keep replaying our last conversation.  She told me she loved me and called me a hero.” His head hung as he relayed her last words, “What kind of hero does what I did to my family?  I wanted to save them, to save you all.  But I never thought about what it would do to William or Felicity if I sacrificed myself.  What it would mean for them to go to protective custody, separated from everything and everyone they know and love.  Or what it would do to them if I was killed.” 

He paused for a moment and glanced up at John, seeing the understanding and sympathy on his friend’s face. 

“I just knew that I couldn’t go on living if something happened to them.  I never really gave it much thought that of course they would feel the same way about me.”

“That’s what happens Oliver, when you love someone more than yourself.  You would rather take any punishment or hurt for yourself than see them suffer. You would do that for Felicity or William.  Felicity would do it for you.  When she gets back though, you really, really need to get better at discussing things with her.  I think you’ve hit the end of the line for her forgiving this particular behavior of yours.” John offered the advice with a small smile.  Oliver appreciated that he said when she got back and not if.

“I can honestly say, this has opened my eyes.  I…” Oliver didn’t get to finish his statement as Lyla marched into the room and straight up to them.

“There was an explosion in an underground mine in the Midwest.  The mine has been abandoned for 30 years. Enough explosives that it broke windows out of houses in a 20-mile radius and cracked some foundations. Government agencies are swarming all over the place.” Lyla looked up from her phone, focusing on the two men in front of her.  She saw the hope building in their eyes. “I can’t guarantee it has anything to do with her, but for that many government agencies to already be present almost immediately means they had to have been nearby for a reason.  Get your belongings, gentlemen.  We go wheels up in 20.”

Oliver and John broke into a sprint back to their quarters.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was only supposed to be a one chapter story. Lol.

 Oliver stared out the plane window as they neared the private airstrip where they would be touching down momentarily. He glanced over to see John staring at the window too.  A clenched jaw the only outward sign his friend gave of his own anxiety and worry.  They were unable to land closer to the site as a no-fly zone had been instituted over the area. But even from this distance, Oliver could see the plume of smoke rising up from the ground and a general haze that blanketed the area, securing the seen on the ground from view.

 “Ok. Very good.  Thank you for your assistance and I trust the appropriate documents and clearances will be sent by the time I arrive.” Oliver looked over at Lyla, a sigh of relief escaping him. She had spent most of the hour-long plane ride on the phone with the heads of various other government agencies.  She had just managed to get herself as the head of Argus clearance to be part of the cleanup operation.

“ETA is 30 minutes.  We will be landing shortly and then have short car ride to the site.” She paused as she listened to the other end. “Is there anyway to get a list of survivors, sir?” She glanced up at Oliver, shaking her head no as she got a response. “Well, thank you again, sir.  And I will definitely owe you one for this.”

“Thank you, Lyla. For the Argus help, for the plane ride, for what you did just know.  You don’t know what it means to me.  I just didn’t know what else to do.” Oliver said quietly.

“We’re family, Oliver. I’ll do anything I can to help.” She offered him a comforting smile.  Then the smile slipped from her face and he could see the head of Argus emerge. “So, when we land, we have a 20-minute ride to the site.  They’ve set up a central headquarters tent.  We have to go there and make sure my credentials have come through.  Once that’s done, I should have access to all info available.  That will include a list of all agents that were involved in the op and list of those accounted for now and their locations.” She paused for a moment, glancing back down at her phone as if checking information again.

“I can’t guarantee that you guys will be allowed in the mine.  They are going to have engineers and mine workers who are used to those conditions assessing the damage and making their recommendations for proceeding.  My guess is they will also use infrared imaging and perhaps mobile cameras to initially check into the tunnels, for damage and survivors.  You two are going to have to conduct yourselves as Argus agents. That means you defer to me.  When I say wait, we wait.”

Oliver opened his mouth to respond but was quickly silenced as Lyla held up one finger to halt him, “If they suspect that we are there for any reason other than in an official capacity, they could very easily revoke my privileges.” Oliver closed his mouth, sitting back in his seat. He needed to find Felicity. He would follow any rules that he was given if it meant he had a chance to get her back. “I’ll do my very best Oliver.”

“I know you will. Lyla.  I never doubted that.  I just want so badly for her to be safe, to be back with me and William.” He replied honestly.

“I know what it feels like to have someone you love in a battlefield.  I know how hard it is, especially when they didn’t have to be.” She nudged John who was sitting beside her, reminding him of his last re-enlistment and deployment.  John just smiled, taking her hand and giving it a small squeeze. 

Oliver had to turn away, unable to witness this tender moment between husband and wife. It made him miss his own wife even more.  He thought back to the last moment he had had alone with her in the police station holding room.  He had sat across the table from her as she cried, barely able to look at her. He could feel his own heart breaking in that moment.  He had wanted so badly for her to understand the choice he had made.  But he didn’t realize then that in trying to prevent his own nightmare of having to live without her, he had sentenced her to it instead.  Now faced with the very real possibility of never seeing her again, he wished desperately that in that moment he had gotten up from the table to hold her, wished that he had kissed her and apologized for making yet another decision without her.  He wished that he had told her to go ahead with her plan with John and break him out of prison.  Maybe they would have spent their lives on the run, but they would have been together.  Anything would have been better than what he was facing now.  He took a deep breath as the pilot announced they would landing shortly, pulling himself out of his thoughts.  He blinked against the tears burning his eyes and rubbed at his suddenly aching chest.  As the plane started its descent he sent up a quick prayer.

Oliver and Diggle stepped out of the Argus owned SUV, shielding their eyes from the harsh glare of the sun after being behind the privacy tinted glass windows of the vehicle.  Lyla walked away from them, her stride confident as she headed toward the large tent in the center of the operation. Oliver and Diggle quickly fell into step behind her.  Oliver surveyed the area as they walked toward the tent.  Even two hours after the explosion the air was still thick with dust, the haze becoming thicker the closer they got to the entrance of the tunnel. Rock and debris littered the entrance to the mine, scattered out at least 30 feet from the opening.  Oliver took in the size of the rocks strewn on the ground, some looked to be at least 3 feet in diameter.  He barely stopped himself from wondering if anyone caught in an explosion large enough to move projectiles of that size could survive.  He scanned the group of workers and government agents hoping for a glimpse of Felicity.

 _Please be here, Felicity. Please be okay.  I can’t do this without you._ Without conscience thought he started to veer towards the entrance of the mine. He didn’t make it more than two feet before he felt John’s hand on his arm, tugging him back in line.

 “Keep it together, man.” Came John’s harsh whisper.

Oliver nodded and fell back into step behind Lyla.  They came to a stop a few steps outside the tent as Lyla went in to talk to the base commander.  Oliver took the opportunity again to survey the area.  There was a first aide tent sent up next to the headquarters.  He glanced over and saw John looking his way.  He inclined his head toward the tent and saw John’s gaze move toward it.  He looked back to where Lyla was still talking to the commander. He gave a barely imperceptible nod and Oliver wasted no time in moving over to the other tent. He tried to remain unobtrusive as he made his way through the tent, cataloguing injuries from contusions to broken bones to gunshot wounds.  He had seen multiple med choppers landing and taking off though.  So, he could only assume the most urgent injuries had already been airlifted to a hospital.  He came to the other end on the tent and his shoulders fell.  No Felicity.  Which either meant she had been more seriously wounded and already moved, or she had never been here in the first place.  He silently made his way back to John, shaking his head when he quirked an eyebrow at him in question.

 Realistically, he knew it had only been a couple minutes that Lyla had been gone, but standing here in the desert heat, waiting for news on Felicity, Oliver felt like he was slowly dying.  He had survived torture most people couldn’t imagine and he realized he would rather endure that again than this.  Finally, Lyla emerged from the tent with a stack of papers in hand.  She walked past them, motioning for them to follow.  When they were a safe distance from the activity, free of having to worry about being overheard, she handed the papers to Oliver.

“This is the list of all the operatives from the various agency that were working this case and in the immediate vicinity. Beside their names is their known disposition.  Some were airlifted, some weren’t hurt that bad and are still here helping, some are in the med tent…” Lyla trailed off as Oliver started scanning the papers.  The names were alphabetically listed, but they were also grouped by government agency.  He wasn’t sure which one she had been working with. 

 As he scanned the names, he saw the words listed beside them. Some were listed alive, working the site. Others were listed as alive, air lifted followed by the hospital name.  Finally, he saw Felicity’s name.  His eyes scanned to the other side of the page for her location.

“Unknown.  Was deepest in the mine when detonated.” His voice cracked as he read it.  For a few moments, the world stopped.  He couldn’t feel his own body or the ground underneath him.  A roaring noise filled his ears he stared straight ahead.  Visions of Felicity filled his head.  He came back to himself and looked up to see John and Lyla staring not at him, but the papers in his hands. Lyla had tears in her eyes.  John, well Oliver had never seen John look despondent before.  It wasn’t a sight he had ever wanted to see.

“This can’t be it.  No.  We need to get in that mine and find her.” He turned to look toward the entrance, trying to formulate in his head how to get in without being noticed. “Lyla, we have to…”

“Oliver. Oliver!” Lyla spoke over him, getting his attention. “We can’t.  The mine is extremely unstable right now.  They are never going to let us in there. They are also saying...” she paused, pressing her lips together before taking a breath to continue, “they are saying there are no further signs of life in the mine.”

“Then she had to have gotten out.  Or they missed something.  She’s not dead, Lyla. She can’t be.” He turned his attention to John, almost begging. “She’s alright, right John? What else can we do?”

“I don’t know Oliver.” Came John’s stuttered response.  For some reason the stutter coming from this unusually calm and battle tested man almost undid him.  He could feel the tears gathering in his eyes. 

“We need to get in there. They have to let us in.  I’ll accept the risk, but…” Oliver’s head snapped up and quit talking, digging his phone from his pocket.  He typed a quick message from someone and placed his phone back into this pocket. 

“Who did you text?” John asked.

“We might not be able to get in their undetected, but we know someone who can.”  A gush of wind blew past them as he finished his sentence.  They watched as the trail of wind blew straight into the entrance of the mine.  A few seconds later, the wind blew past them again in the opposite direction but didn’t stop for them.  The horn blared on their SUV and they ran for it. 

They piled into the SUV where Barry in his Flash suit was protected from view by the tinted windows. 

“What did you find? Is she in there? Can we get to her?” Oliver fired out questions as soon as the door closed. 

“Oliver, I... I don’t know how to say this.” Barry glanced down at the floor, before looking back up to meet Oliver’s eyes, the sorrow in his face reflecting the sorrow Oliver himself was feeling. “I didn’t find her.”

“That doesn’t mean she wasn’t there, Barry.  Maybe you were just going to fast and you missed her.” Oliver said, leaning back away from Barry as if distance could stop this.

“I found her glasses.  They were close to the entrance, where it had caved in.” Oliver’s mind flashed back to the size of the boulders laying around the entrance. “They were crushed…and there was blood.”

Oliver scrambled for the door handle, launching himself out of the SUV. 

“I’m so sorry, Oliver.” He heard the tears in Barry’s voice.

He started back toward the mine.  She was alive.  She had to be.  He would find her.  He would do whatever he had to do. 

“John, stop him.” She heard Lyla voice float from behind him.  He tried to move faster, but his normal agile body just didn’t seem to be following his commands.  He stumbled and hit his knees just as John caught up to him.

John knelt in front of him, hands on his shoulders.  Before he could say anything, John wrapped him up in a strong hug.  He could feel the older man’s shoulders shaking with his own sobs.  But Oliver knew he couldn’t allow himself to cry.  If he started, he would never stop.  He pulled back from John.

“This can’t be it.  I can’t lose her, not like this.  Not ever.”  He lurched to his feet but wasn’t quick enough as John rose and wrapped his arms around him again. He tried to move forward but John’s grip made him awkward and they both hit their knees again. He heard Lyla gasp behind him.

“No! No” He roared toward the mine and the workers. “Felicity!  Felicity!”

A shadow fell across them and his head jerked up at the voice.

“Ollie?” And there looking down at him, dressed in the same fatigues as the rescue workers, stood Sara.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, next one will be the last I think. Sorry it took me so long to update, sometimes family illness, work and real life get in the way! Lol.

_A shadow fell across them and his head jerked up at the voice._

_“Ollie?” And there looking down at him, dressed in the same fatigues as the rescue workers, stood Sara._

* * *

 

“Sara?” He squinted up at her in confusion, unsure of what he was seeing.  The thought crossed his mind that maybe losing Felicity was going to be too much for him.  There was no reason for Sara to be here, dressed like that.  It had to be one of the rescue workers, coming to tell them about Felicity’s fate.  His grief addled brain had just confused the woman with Sara. He looked back up at her, but the sheen of tears covering his eyes made a clear picture of the woman impossible.

“Did you hear me, Ollie?” He shook his head.  The voice sounded like Sara.  He couldn’t be bothered to figure out why Sara would be here right now.  He could only concentrate on the hollow ache that was growing in his chest. How would tell William? How did he continue to live without her to light his way? The dread at the thought of facing the world without Felicity grew from his stomach, clawing its way up his throat like a living creature.

He was pulled from his thoughts when John took him by the shoulder, roughly shaking him. “Oliver! Listen to Sara!”

Oliver scrubbed a hand over his eyes, wiping away the moisture and focused again on the woman standing above him. It was definitely Sara and she was looking at him like she was worried for his sanity.

“I asked you why you were yelling for Felicity.  She’s not gonna hear you from here.” Sara repeated herself.

“What do you mean…from here?” Oliver asked as he rose from the ground, where he had still been on his knees.

“She’s in the med bay on the Wave Rider.” Sara relayed slowly, as if talking to a small child.

Oliver stood silently, trying to digest the information, but at the same time afraid that he hadn’t heard her right. He could feel the hope blooming in his chest.  But it was tempered by the thought that if he had heard her wrong, if his mind was just playing tricks on him, he wouldn’t survive the crash of reality. He actually looked to John for confirmation that he had heard her correctly, but John was staring at Sara himself.

“Why is everyone looking at me like I have three heads?” Sara questioned, her gaze going from face to face.

“Right before you got here, we had come to believe that Felicity had died in the mine explosion. She was listed as being in the immediate area of the explosion.” John explained as Oliver stood silently, “Barry ran in to check, but all he found were her broken glasses and blood.”

Sara’s face paled and her gaze swung immediately to Oliver. She stepped forward, throwing her arms around him and enveloping him in a hug. “Oh, Ollie. I’m so sorry you thought that.  But I promise you, she’s okay. She was hurt, yes.  But she’s back on the wave rider and Gideon is fixing her up. Along with another agent we pulled out with her.”

The rush of relief that raced through him was so profound that for the first time in his life he felt the real possibility of passing out.  His arms tightened around Sara briefly before he pulled back, “I need to see her.  I need to see Felicity.  Sara, I…” He couldn’t stand the thought of being this close to her, but not actually be with her. He believed what Sara was telling him. But until he saw her, until he could touch her for himself, he couldn’t quite grasp that this was real. That he had been granted this reprieve from what had been his worst nightmare come true.

“I know, I know. Come on.” Sara started to lead them away. “We couldn’t bring the Wave Rider to close, so we have just a little way to walk.”

“How did you know to come here?” Oliver asked as he fell into step beside her, John and Lyla taking up place behind them.

“Actually, you have William to thank for that.” Sara grinned up at him. “You have one smart kid there.”

“William?” he questioned, shaking his head slightly.  He was trying to put the pieces together, but the only thought that he was able to grasp and hold onto was that Felicity was alive and he would be with her shortly.

“He got worried about you when you weren’t having any luck finding Felicity.  So, he called Thea.  Who’s currently with Nyssa.  Who I just happened to be visiting.”

“But how did you find her? We used every resource we had and then some.” John asked from behind them.

“Ahhh…but you don’t have Gideon. The next best thing to Felicity Smoak for finding people or things.” Sara chuckled, sounding a little smug.  Oliver couldn’t help but smile at her. She had somehow managed to save Felicity, she could be smug for the rest of her life as far as he was concerned.

“We got here right at the mine exploded. Felicity and the other agent were caught in the blast.” Sara’s light tone disappeared, the gravity of the situation apparent in her voice now. “They were partially protected by a small alcove of rock toward the mouth of the mine.  They were only about twenty feet from the entrance.  Ray used his suit to shrink down and fly in past the debris blocking the entrance.  He found them and blasted his way back out.  The government crews thought it was another explosion and took cover.  He was able to make it out under the cover of dust and smoke.”

They topped a small hill and Sara tapped on the communicator strapped to her wrist.  At the bottom of the hill, the Wave Rider shimmered into sight.  Oliver barely held himself back from running.  The sunlight reflected off the Wave Rider like a spotlight, lighting up the area around it.  It seemed fitting to Oliver that this would be were he would finally be reunited with Felicity.

“Ray said that the agent that was with her was half on top of her. He had shielded her as much as he could.  He was more banged up than she was, but Gideon said he will make a full recover.”  Sara relayed as they moved closer.  Oliver sent a silent prayer of thanks up for the agent that had protected her. 

“How bad was she hurt?” Oliver asked, never taking his eyes off the ship.

“Cuts, bruises, contusions.  Concussion. Couple fractured ribs. Dislocated shoulder. Deep laceration close to the femoral artery, needed cauterized and sutured.  Another inch and it would have been a different ending.” Sara spoke clinically. Her years away had taught her to remove herself as much as she could from personal attachments in situations like this.  “She hasn’t woken up yet, but then she was sedated for the cauterizing and the setting of the shoulder.  So, she probably won’t be waking up too soon.”

They had entered the ship as Sara listed off her various injuries and now stood in front of the door to what Oliver assumed was the med bay.

“Sara…I don’t even know how to thank you…”

Sara stopped him, placing a hand on his arm. “We’ve all lost too much, Oliver.  I think it’s time we had a win, don’t you?”

Oliver saw the tears threatening to spill over and knew she was thinking of her Dad and sister. He pulled her to him, hugging her tight.  She relaxed against him for a minute, hugging him back, before gently shoving him away.

“Go see your girl, Ollie.” He heard the door whoosh open behind him.  He turned to step through it. 


	6. Final Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am so very sorry this took so long. Sometimes real life gets in the way. I hope everyone likes this ending. And I want to thank everyone for the comments, it makes it so much fun to share the story with such great feedback.

            Oliver entered the room slowly, his eyes adjusting to the dim lighting.  He crossed quickly to the bed positioned against the opposite wall, his eyes fixed on the pale figure lying peacefully in it. The overwhelming relief he felt at seeing her alive and within reach was quickly replaced by sorrow and guilt as the bruises and lacerations became more apparent the closer he got to her. Standing over the bed, he took in every apparent injury. Her arm was in a sling, fastened around her body to immobilize it. A dark bruise shown against the pale skin of her forehead and cheek.  A stark white bandage stood out on her forehead against her hairline, a shadow of blood showing through. Numerous cuts and scratches littered her arms and hands. He reached down with a shaking hand, smoothing the blonde hair back from her face.  He cupped her cheek in his hand, drawing his thumb across her uninjured cheekbone.

            Oliver sighed deeply, releasing the breath he hadn’t even realized he had been holding. “God, Felicity…” he whispered, his voice sounded hoarse to his own ears. He sunk down into the chair someone had placed at her bedside. He slipped his hand under her own careful of the IV line and curled his fingers around hers before leaning down and resting his forehead against her forearm. He took a moment just to breathe, thankful that she was alive and that he was back with her.

            “I am so sorry, Felicity,” he started, raising his head to look at her sleeping face. There was no flutter of movement, but he continued anyway. “I’m sorry that my choices led you to make the ones you had to make. I’m sorry that you had to go through all of this. I’m sorry I ever let you doubt how I felt about you or how committed I was to you. I’m sorry I didn’t give you a chance, give us a chance, to find another way. I’m sor—”

            “I’m trying to sleep.”

            Oliver’s gaze flew to her face as he shot to his feet, leaning over her.

            “I was just in an explosion, Oliver.” She smiled up at him, her fingers gripping his tightly. He stared down at her, his mouth opened slightly, but no sound came out. “I missed you.” The tears forming in her eyes spurred him to action.

            He leaned down, his lips meeting hers in gentle, loving kiss. Their lips parted slowly and he leaned his forehead against hers, both kept their eyes closed just enjoying the feeling of being close to each other.

            “So, I take it Sara found you?” Her voice finally broke into the moment and he pulled away.  He pulled the chair even closer and sat back down, his hand still firmly in hers. His free hand wandered over her, continually touching from stroking her hair to feathering a touch up and down her uninjured arm.

            “She did. We heard about the mine explosion and John, Lyla and I came to check it out.  We decided you had been involved, but we couldn’t get in.  Lyla got a list of known dispositions of the people involved.  It said you were unknown.  I called Barry and he ran in to look for you.  When he came out, he said…he said,” Oliver paused. He hadn’t taken his eyes off her since she had woken up. But now as he relieved those awful moments, he couldn’t help looking away. “He said he found your glasses.  And blood. And I couldn’t, I didn’t know what to do. It was my fault you were in there. I lost you and it was all my…” His voiced choked off and he fought the moisture he could feel forming in his eyes.

            “Oliver, it wasn’t your fault. I made the choice to do this.” Her hand squeezed his before pulling away.  She reached up and slowly wiped a thumb under his eyes.

            “If I hadn’t made the decision I made, you wouldn’t have had to make the one you did.” He reminded her. “You were right about that. You were only reacting to the circumstances I put you in.”

            “That’s true.” She hurried to finish as she saw him start to pull away emotionally.  Reaching up she gently took his cheek in her hand, turning his face back to her. “Oliver, I was and still am pretty mad at you for what you did.  You didn’t give me chance to help you.  I’m your wife, but more importantly, your partner. We should have faced this all together.  Instead, you separated us.  So yes, I am still mad about that. But as far as this, Oliver, if we hadn’t been able to come up with a different plan, if you had still ended up going to jail, then I would still have ended up exactly where I am.  I would never have let you sit in prison.”

            “But what if we had come up with a different plan?” he asked her, not yet willing to let go of his guilt.

            “We could play the what if game all day, Oliver. We don’t know what might have happened and we never will.  That’s all over and done. But we need to learn from this and do better. Please.” Felicity looked up at him, the plea in her eyes easily visible.

            “Felicity, I will never let you out of the loop again. When I thought I had lost you, when I had to live this past two month without you, not knowing if you were okay, I don’t think I could live through that again.” He told her sadly. Felicity could hear the conviction in his tone. The sadness was rolling off him in waves and she wanted nothing more than to tell him everything was alright and just let it go.  But she also knew that this was a conversation that they needed to have and she was so grateful they had the opportunity to have it.

            “I understand why you did what you did, trying to protect us all. And I even understand how sorry you feel for it, because I feel the same way right now.  I did what I had to do to protect you and to get you back to William in one piece.  But I am truly sorry for what it put you through,” Felicity told him, “But the next time Oliver, that a situation like this comes up, you have to remember what this did to us. You wanted to keep us safe and protect us, but it can’t be at the cost of your own life, Oliver. How are William and I supposed to live with that?” She paused for a moment as she took a deep breath, composing herself. “How would you feel if you had to live without William or I?”

            “Hell. I would be in hell.” He didn’t even hesitate before answering.

            “But that’s the fate you were consigning me and William too.” She saw the moment that words struck home with him. 

            Oliver felt like the air had been sucked out of his lungs. The full impact of his decision hit him hard.  In trying to avoid his worst nightmare, he sentenced Felicity and William to live it instead.

            “I’m so so sorry, Felicity.” He started again.

            “Shhhh,” Felicity offered him another smile. “I’m not trying to make you feel guilty Oliver. I know you’re sorry.  I also understand why you made the choice you made.  But I’m asking, no I’m begging you, please don’t make a decision to voluntarily leave me again. Fight to stay with me, to stay with us.”

            “Always.” He leaned down over her, hugging her as best as he could. Whispering the word into her neck over and over, his warm breath sending shivers down her spine.

            “Lay down with me?” she asked him, laughing a little breathlessly when he immediately stood to kick off his boots. He slid his arms under her, effortlessly moving her over slightly. He laid down on his side, propping himself up on one arm.  His other hand rested lightly on her abdomen, drawing slow patterns.

            “I never got a chance to ask, how did Sara know where to find me?” Felicity knew her words were starting to slur.  She was beyond tired from the explosion, her injuries and her conversation with Oliver. She fought a yawn, not ready to lose any more time with him.

            “That would be William.” Oliver couldn’t help chuckling at the surprise on her face.  “After our last phone call, John and I went to Argus to try to find you.  I used every connection I had.  I couldn’t find you. I completely forgot about Sara. William got worried and called Thea.”

            “Who was with Nyssa, who would know how to contact Sara.” Felicity finished for him, putting the pieces together. 

            “We finished the mission. We took down the terrorist cell.” Felicity couldn’t keep the pride out of her voice.  Nothing would ever take away the guilt she felt for Havenrock, but the amount of people that were saved from this terrorist organization helped.

            “I am so proud of you. You don’t even know.” Oliver told her, smiling.

            “Did you hear anything about the agent that was with me?” Oliver could hear the hope in her voice and he smiled a little wider.

            “He’s okay.  He’s here on the Waverider too.  A little banged up like you, but he’ll be alright.” He saw the relief on her face.

            “I wouldn’t have made it as far in the tunnels without him.  I owe him so much.” Her voice got emotional as she recalled the failed escape from the mine.

            “We both do.” He told her, tightening his grip around her slightly.

            “I wanted to tell you one more thing, Oliver.” She said, sounded almost shy. “When I went on that last mission and even when it all went south, I kept trying.  I remembered what you said in our last phone call and I tried so hard to get back to you, to our future. Those words helped me. Thank you.”

            Oliver looked at her for a moment, at this woman who had brought so much light into his dark world.  This woman who made him want to be better man. This woman who meant more to him than anyone else in the world. He settled down next to her, curling himself around her as much as he could, one arm wrapped around her holding her securely against him.  His next words a heartfelt confession whispered against her skin.

            “I think it’s me who needs to thank you.  I love you more than you will ever know.”


End file.
